Heaven
by Jess J
Summary: Marv ficlet. His Hell was gone. His Heaven was too. He was stuck in that other place. Limbo, Purgatory, whatever it was called. It was rotten, but it wasn’t Hell. Sometimes it seemed worse.


Author's note: This was written for a friend who wanted Marv/Goldie, and since that happened to be my favorite ship from the movie/comics, I was more than willing to oblige. I'm rather fond of how this turned out, and hopefully it'll be enjoyable. Reviews are always greatly appreciated, especially since this is my first Marv fic, and I am a little nervous.

Disclaimer: I do not own, wish I did, but I don't, so please don't sue me.

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HEAVEN

Darkness faded in and out. It was hard to keep track of time, it seemed as though for Marv, it had ceased to exist. Most of the time is was just darkness when he was out. But every so often he dreamed. They were nightmares, no bad dreams. No painful memories or old grudges coming back to haunt him.

No, all his dreams were sweet, filled with sights, sounds, scents of one, perfect night. The one perfect thing in his life, one he'd been too drunk to truly appreciate or keep. But one perfect thing he'd been given and would always cherish. There were occasional splashes of color, a beautiful, soft gold, glimpses of crimson, sometimes even hints of green. The rest was all in black and white, like the old movies he would watch as a kid.

He could still taste her. Her smell was fresh and clear. Every inch of her had been memorized, despite his drunken state that night. Nothing had left his memory. Or perhaps that was because of something else, maybe someone else. No, no. He'd remembered everything, but being around the other had just confirmed his memories.

Marv stopped trying to keep track of time, but he would sometimes get a hint now and then from a passing nurse. He didn't care though. He sometimes cursed the blasted idiots that'd shot him up and hadn't even killed him. He sometimes just willed himself back into that darkness where he would be blessed with memories of that perfect thing he'd had.

Goldie. Angel. Goddess. Perfection. He went through several names, all fitting her and all not enough for her. Sometimes his mind would wander to those Bible stories he'd learned in school, to the first man and woman, and he wondered, had Eve been as beautiful as Goldie? He didn't believe so. Only one person was as beautiful as Goldie, and that was Wendy. But not even Wendy was as perfect as Goldie.

She wasn't Goldie. He confused her with Goldie sometimes, but she wasn't Goldie. She was Wendy. She was just a memory manifested physically, a tangible reminder of the only woman he'd ever really loved, the only woman he'd ever had. Wendy, she was a wonderful dame. But she wasn't Goldie.

More time would pass when he was out. Time seemed to go faster when he dreamed. Soon he was out of the hospital, and he was back in prison, back in that place Lucille had called his Hell. It wasn't anything to him now. It was just a place to sleep.

His Hell was gone. His Heaven was too. He was stuck in that other place. Limbo, Purgatory, whatever it was called. It was rotten, but it wasn't Hell. Sometimes it seemed worse. Hell was just what he'd told Lucille - waking up every morning not knowing why you did, why you were around. Purgatory was waking up every morning, knowing you'd have Heaven - your reason for waking up every morning - and being unable to have it again.

But he was going to die soon. The beatings, they were nothing, just the cops taunting him by getting him close to that darkness, but never putting him there permanently. But he would die soon. Death penalty for him. The real punishment was making him wait. Wait in Purgatory until the time had finally come for him to go back to that Heaven. He had Heaven every time he was in that darkness.

More time had passed. It was finally drawing to a close. He was almost at the end of the line, it was almost his time to go back to Heaven, for good this time. Marv was more than ready, almost anxious for it, wishing it was there already.

And then it was there. But not like he'd thought. It was the smell, that smell he knew Heaven had to smell of, and he looked up, and he saw her. The angel. His Heaven. He believed she'd come back for a moment until she was closer, and then he wanted to smack himself and cry because he'd gotten confused again.

Wendy didn't seem to mind too much, but then she'd always seemed to just accept him getting confused around her. She smiled at him, and he almost got confused again. And then she gave him permission, and he was back in Heaven.

She wasn't Goldie, but it was easy to pretend for those last moments. She would never be Goldie, and Marv would never love her, but she wasn't looking for that, and he wasn't sticking around long after she left him. She was Goldie just for a little while, that sweet drop of water on his tongue he remembered someone begging for in one of those Bible stories. And not long after she left, he'd be in his real Heaven, and he'd be in that darkness, and then it would light up with Goldie, and he'd have his Heaven back.

It wasn't long now. Not long at all. Wendy was gone, and Marv was about to die. Took them long enough. He'd been waiting for a mighty long time, and he was tired of it.

They did it once. It hurt, hurt like Hell, but Marv had hurt before, not quite so bad, but he'd been beaten so many times he didn't even feel it at first. He laughed, spat out his own blood, but he didn't really hurt. He was just tired of waiting. Heaven was just in front of him, he could almost see it. He could already smell it over the scent of his own charred flesh and steaming blood. And then he was in pain again, and then he was in the darkness again.

And he was in Heaven.


End file.
